Wall Street just discovered a thrilling new asset class: itself. After a two-year drought, everybody with a pitch deck and a pulse is sprinting for the exit marked “GOING PUBLIC,” and the 2026 IPO boom is officially a stampede. Don’t take it personally… just comics.
The $251 Billion Bell-Ringing Contest
Companies going public have hauled in a record $251 billion through June 26, 2026 — the strongest first-half haul since the pandemic-era mania of 2021, according to bankers at JPMorgan and Morgan Stanley. Eleven companies alone raised $1 billion or more, the Renaissance IPO ETF is up roughly 27% over twelve months, and JPMorgan expects about a dozen more billion-dollar debuts before year-end. Goldman Sachs’ Will Connolly summed up the vibe: “It’s really the first time you could say that since 2021.” Translation: the last time the IPO window was this wide open, it slammed shut on everyone’s fingers.
SpaceX Rang the Loudest Bell in History
The main event: SpaceX priced its IPO at $135 a share on June 12, 2026 for a $1.77 trillion valuation, sold enough stock to bank about $75 billion (roughly $85.7 billion after the overallotment), and promptly popped 19% to close at $161 — briefly worth around $2.1 trillion, the sixth most valuable U.S.-listed company on day one. It is, officially, the largest stock debut ever. Nothing says “rational market” like a company you can’t yet value being the biggest thing anyone’s ever floated.
Next in Line: The A.I. Twins
Waiting at the velvet rope: Anthropic filed confidentially with the SEC and is expected to go public later in 2026, while OpenAI has also filed and is reportedly weighing a debut as soon as 2027. So the same crowd that brought you the $725 billion A.I. fever dream now wants you to own a slice at retail. When the smart money is this eager to sell you shares, ask who’s on the other side of the trade before you buy the dip.
A record IPO year, a trillion-dollar rocket, and central banks still hoarding gold like it’s the apocalypse. Somebody in this picture is very confident, and somebody is very nervous — and this time they might be the same people.
Don’t take it personally… just comics. Spoof Street! is satire, not investment advice.
Sources
CNBC — SpaceX IPO debut · TechCrunch — OpenAI/Anthropic IPO filings · Bloomberg — OpenAI weighs 2027 IPO